Now that the holidays are over and I can't frequent the shops, I go online to drool over the Hot Topic cuffs and maddest pair of shoes ever - these black-and-white-quilted brogues by Joel Madden. They look so hip-hop, reminds me of Kevin G from glee. Such a hilarious kid. I swear Kevin G, if you die a sudden premature death I will cry the loudest at your funeral. (what IS a premature death anyways? Like is there really a right time to die?)
Recently I have come to grips with the fact that I DESPISE rain. Friggin hate that shit. Makes everything damp and ugly and you have to bring an umbrella.
Trying to close an umbrella while simultaneously trying to get out your bus pass is the the awkwardest movement. The umbrella always gets stuck. You can count on it.
You gotta like flag down someone and shove your folder and laptop at them, then manoeuvre the flapping umbrella, full being paranoid and just KNOWING that you're giving generation Z a bad name and that the bus driver is glaring at you.
Also slugs and centipedes come out (I read the wiki-synopsis on The Human Centipede and felt nauseous for the entire morning. Those sick-humoured people). I have this abnormal phobia of slugs. Why do they even exist? I mean, we have SNAILS already, isn't that enough? The grey on the road becomes streaked and at every step I get freaked that I'm stepping on a slug. (hey look I made a RHYME)
Inevitably, the corridors and the edges of your sheets get muddy and you know that given time all your conversations will start end or contain a complaint about the weather. It's like that warped law, that all chatroom discussions end with a comparison to Nazis or Hitler. Googling... wikipedia: godwins law.
ode to rainLOL not my best work for sure.
oh rain why can't you just leave us be
pretending to give us rainbows magically
go away, and take everything with you
the slugs and the mud and the dirty tissues
gg
