When I woke up this morning, my dad was using a bronze cigarette lighter and killing spiders with it. Thats right, he was standing out in the garden, and burning spiders alive. And the thing is, I didnt even register that at first. I was just standing there staring, like it was one of those newspaper things - "Whats wrong with this picture?". My dad said that burning spiders is much quicker and easier than using pesticide like a normal person. Can anyone say "happy sadist?". Next thing you know, he'll be using a magnifying glass to kill the aphids.
I'm ashamed to say, I didn't do anything to stop him. Instead I got out my new canon camera and took photos of a ladybird that was sunning on a leaf next to the spiders web. I think this says something about my sanity, spending the morning on a public holiday disregarding burning spiders.
When you think about it another way, why does he even have a cigarette lighter? Wasn't he supposed to have quit smoking? And it wasnt even one of those cheap disposable ones he could've picked up at the hotel in Beijing, just in case. (just in case what?) It was a proper bronze lighter , very appropriate if you're going to start chainsmoking and don't want to worry about cracking plastic on those cheap china-made disposable ones.
Although chainsmoking is so much more hardcore if done while shivering uncontrollably, sitting in the gutter , and holding a cheap cracked cigarette lighter.
gg
"I died right when I saw you while you shared that cigarette"
